Further

Just wasted up my connection speed waiting a clip to load which turns out that it's just a lame animation singing "Choi San Dou".

But anyway reached home finally after staying at Aunt's house at Sungai Petani for a day. The family gathering I mentioned is disappointing at some point but still overall it's fun. Maybe we didn't see each other that much which results in the connection between some of our cousins and us faded. It's so wierd when the adults are all talking outside and 9 of us,5 of theirs and 4 of us sitting at the living room, not talking to each other. They are all busy pressing their handphones, playing games taking photos bluetoothing files and watching videos.The worst thing is even their mum joined,which left 4 of us stoning there watching them. I expected we have more stuff to talked about. They've growned up a LOT. Maybe that's why we're not as close as last time anymore while the thought of being there has changed. I missed the day while we're all still kiddy and everyone's in the mood of playing fire crackers at my house. At least we are TALKING over there you know. I wonder if they still remember that, or my name, or I am only the-one-that-played-fire-crackers-with-us-last-time-cousin which I dont' want to be. Sigh.

Shit happens on everyone.Shits.
People always have big secrets hidden inside where you will be so shocked to find out.Someday when you are talking with other people and they was like suddenly saying hey, do you know that I blahblahblahblah which your heart will stop beating for seconds listening to this. I talked with my cousins last night where we begin talking about another cousin that younger than us asking them questions about sex which I think it's good for them to ask, not that I am a pervert that interested in knowing people asked this kinda questions to me but they really don't dare to ask their parents about this questions and they really wanted to know so that they have to ask from the other people seeking for a satisfying answer.

But then we talked and the topic changed, I wonder when, to friends and stuff while they started to tell me a secret that I didn't expect to hear happens on them, which they claimed I am the first outsider to know about this.Then it reveals how scary a person can be when it comes to suspisions and expectation. Bad decisions and over protected the wrong person left the innocent one hanging around alone and all the blames were thrown on him/her, and there you are overpowering other people's life.You really can't judge book by their cover, who knows there's going to be a porn-contented-fiction-looked-cover book arranged somewhere in the fiction section in the MPH bookstore. Lame but true,Kills me. Wonder if I seriously should called you a demon, though outwardly you seriouslynot supposed to be called this way.

At somepoint I can't get over with the whole thing while deep inside my heart i get really pissed and really felt very unfair for the innocent but too bad things already happened while I did not know and I can't do anything about it.

Dear Jac,
I wish you good luck and wish that things got clearly settled someday in the future, at least don't leave it unsolved.